Tears.

Just like regular monday afternoons, I went for my ELDDS rehearsal today.

Little did I know. Something was in stall for me...

Wendee, our trainer was here today, like every other mondays.
We did a run through for her.

Apparently, she felt we weren't up to standard, and to top it off... She insulted us and insulted Ms Sharon's and Ms Naz's work.
They were very pissed off. And they all went off.

We didn't know what happened initially... Until only they came back and we heard from Aju what sorta happened. That's when we know there's trouble.

We sat the entire cast down. Including the backstage people and crew. Every single one.
Cause we were facing a major problem. And the show's NEXT FRIDAY!

All of them were settled down already. Then Ms Sharon called me and Nicholas over and said that we should give the younger people a talk about their attitude and what's going on.

We said, Okay, and we both headed over.

I very well for sure what was going on. I work with the teachers hand in hand. I know what they're going through. And this is not an easy time for us and especially the teachers cause it's not the only thing that on their plate now.

So anyway, I walked up to them and immediately shouted "SHUT UP!" To keep them quiet.
Then I went on.... Then it was Nicholas' turn...
Basically we took turns. But I had more turns cause I HAD ALOT to tell them!

After the both of us spoked and yelled. The teachers came over. And it was their turn to speak about what happened and what is going on.

They felt insulted.
They felt anger.
And above all, they felt HURT.

I was hurt too.
Cause alot of them still don't know what we're going through and sacrificing JUST FOR THEM.
They are benefitting from all these. Not the teachers.

Then I said, I have NEVER EVER EVER seen dedicated and commited teachers like them. And I really do have ALOT of respect for them. Cuase they also have taught me ALOT.
I said, I will kiss the floor they walk on. Or even to wash their feet like the olden times.

THEN..... my voice changed a little. And I started welling up.

IT JUST HAPPENED LIKE THAT. I REALLY COULDN'T TAKE IT.

I walked out of the hall, in which we were rehearsaing at, and went out.
I continued crying. And I was breathing harder and harder when the tears just kept flowing...

Sorry bananas, for such a post. Cuase NEVER IN MY LIFE, something like that happened!

So anyway, Mark came out. And then apparently, alot of them came running after me too.
Like Eugene and Nicholas...

The more I thought of it, the more tears I had.

THAT'S WHEN I REALLY REALLY REALISED HOW MUCH ELDDS MEANT TO ME.
LIKE WHAT MS SHARON SAID. IT'S MUCH MUCH MORE THAN JUST A CCA.
IT'S A FAMILY.

I kinda stopped and went back in again.

Drank some water and sat at the tables with them. Then Ms Naz asked if I was okay. And said she wanted to cry also... Then, ALAMAK. I started crying again. I DONT KNOW WHY LAH!
It's just crazy...

They wanted to do another run-through of the musical. I went up on stage.

NO ONE SPOKE TO ME.

I think they also freaked out. Cuase they have NEVER seen me like this before. Not even the older people who have been around. In fact, I don't cry... Never did.

I sat at the edge of the stage then Hazlan came over to me with my mic and Ms Sharon came over and asked if I was okay... I was... Then she started talking about it. And said probably the reason why I cried was that I know what they were feeling and I was really hurt by it.

Tears bloody filled my eyes again.

NEVER DID I EVER KNEW I WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL WRECK.
Only for today.

I had to stop. I went backstage and started to chat to people then they started coming to me and asked if I was okay.

The 2nd run-through was fantastic. I could totally feel the energy increased from the previous run-through. They were much more serious, and we were working as a team.

I was really glad. At least my tears today did not go to waste...